Family: The Gift You Can’t Return

Discussion in 'The Hens' Nest' started by Scout, Jul 11, 2014.

  1. scotchbutter

    scotchbutter Chicken

    Parents came over yesterday. Dad commented how clean the driveway looked (he knew we just had it power washed), then I saw he had put his cigarette out and left it in the middle of the driveway. So there was the big black mark and he left the butt there. Like what is wrong with these people?
  2. hellohelloagain

    hellohelloagain Chicken

    I'd make a point of picking it up and hosing that spot off while he was around
    April Ludgate, android and Afishwish like this.
  3. whatchyagonnado

    whatchyagonnado Chicken

    Just blocked my parents phone numbers. Not permanently, but it was to the point I needed a cool off.

    Final straw in a long list of things recently-

    A is even worse today than last week, and now C is sick. I feel like shit but I’m basically commanding my body to not dare start coughing because I need ro take care of J. (A has a mask and gloves to help but I really would rather he stay away from J right now). My house is a mess and I have no groceries because we have had company all week and to top that off A had to get my dad at 4am from the train (after dropping him off at 3am last week). J also didn't fall asleep until 6am. The train is its whole own story. Anyway, I called my mom and I was just kind of venting about feeling sick and my dad cuts into a tirade (because my mom always fucking has me on speaker without telling me) about how I’m basically an inadequate parent because I’m not just happily soldering through and insert many hurtful comments about me/my kids here. Really dude? Only 2/4 of your kids even regularly speak to you but you wanna make it 1/4 go ahead.

    (And insert point here about I know everyone deals with the sicks- I was literally just venting YKWIM?)
  4. Lh718

    Lh718 Chicken

    Wow, that was a really dick thing of your dad to say @whatchyagonnado , even without the hurtful comments. There is no way on this earth that he just smiled and laughed and sang his way through his kids being sick.
  5. Zoomzoom

    Zoomzoom Old Curmudgeon

    I'm blanking on what A has (bronchitis?) But it's not like it's that easy for him to just help and you have a super new baby. And your dad has the nerve to start in on you after you and A did him a huge favour? No
  6. Canaligator

    Canaligator Barbie Police

    What the heck is wrong with him?? I’m sorry.
  7. whatchyagonnado

    whatchyagonnado Chicken

    @Lh718 idk if he even understands as he travelled and worked 70+ most of our childhood. Idk that he did any of the sick time with kids.

    @Zoomzoom especially that last point is grating on me fiercely- he just saw how sick A is. And unfortunately I think bronchitis was a misdiagnosis because he is puking now in addition to coughing and general yuck feeling.
  8. scotchbutter

    scotchbutter Chicken

    Isn’t your dad a doctor too? That’s extra messed up since he should know much better. Also, while this is the smallest wtf part of the story, my mom does the secret speaker phone thing too and it also infuriates me.
  9. Afishwish

    Afishwish Bramblebutt

    That’s shitty even at the best of times, but when you’re barely keeping afloat because you’re playing nurse and don’t have the luxury of rest when you desperately need it? No, dad.

    Also, I love it when old folk get parenting amnesia.
    whatchyagonnado likes this.
  10. scotchbutter

    scotchbutter Chicken

    “Infants are my favorite age! They’re just so easy!”
    Afishwish, Fitz, nym711 and 5 others like this.
  11. ClamJam

    ClamJam Chicken

    Well, @whatchyagonnado, consider this your official beatification because if I were you, I would have cancelled all of the house guests and told your dad to get a fucking Uber to the train station. The lack of empathy from them is shocking.
  12. RoryGilmore

    RoryGilmore Chicken

    @whatchyagonnado Screw him. Seriously, his comments are uncalled for and also wrong. You’re doing the best you can do in a situation like this. You’re a fantastic mom, and you have the right to vent. I hope everyone feels better soon!
  13. Comet

    Comet Instigator

    Maybe this makes me a spiteful bitch, but I kind of hope some of A's germs rubbed off on your dad during that early, early morning ride to the train.
  14. whatchyagonnado

    whatchyagonnado Chicken

    Lol ME TOO

    Thanks y’all. My sister is getting divorced (the other one, not the same one who got divorced 2 years ago) and she won’t tell my parents yet because she doesn’t want my dads comments. I feel like that says all you need to know on how obtuse he can be YKWIM? (And the man is twice divorced himself).
    Afishwish likes this.
  15. DaleBrennan

    DaleBrennan Chicken

    The train thing really bothers me. I cannot fathom a situation where anyone thinks it's remotely okay to ask parents of a newborn to pick them up from a train station, not once but TWICE, in the middle of the night. I probably would have blocked them after that, lol.

    But for real, I'm sorry. Take the time and space you need and focus on you and your family. <3
  16. Fitz

    Fitz Leslie Knope Monster

    My parents wanted me to pick their car up from their house one town away, drive their dog to the airport to pick them up, and then have them drop me off at my house on the way back from the airport. After 2 weeks of dog-sitting. Because my dad had to work in CT the next morning and didn't want to have to come back up to our place. It took B's brainstorming (which really wasn't a lot of thought) for us to just drop their dog off at their house a few hours before their flight was set to arrive, run her around the yard so she peed/pooped/got pooped, and let them take an Uber home.

    I hesitated to text them the new plan/go through with it because I am a bit of a pushover when it comes to my parents.
  17. fantasynerd

    fantasynerd Extra Extra

    This is pretty minor because I don’t think she’ll push it *that* hard, especially since we are planning on coming for Thanksgiving, but:

    MIL wants us to fly across the country to their town, with no direct flights, with (if I give birth within a few days of my due date) a 12-week-old. R said we can’t make it because it’s too soon and she said “actually I think you can” :roll:

    Medically maybe but that sounds miserable. We won’t even be out of the 4th trimester.
  18. Dorothygale

    Dorothygale Chicken

    Both of our families are driving me absolutely crazy right now. Last night my dad texts me and asks if I’m coming to Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow (today - on a Saturday??) at my aunt’s house. I tell him no, I haven’t received an invitation or any info so I didn’t know there was one. My mom then texts me 30 seconds later asking if my dad messaged me. Keep in mind, they are both at home, likely sitting 5 feet away from one another. So I tell her the same thing, no invite and no info, but we are planning to just stay in this weekend and do some stuff around the house or out locally with the kids. She lets me know my aunt is asking for confirmation, so am I coming??? I let her know that at this point, I still have not been given any info regarding even what time it’s being held at. Her response: “tell me if you’re coming and I’ll give you the time.” What is this, a negotiation? Wtf.

    Then, rooster’s parents want to see us because they haven’t seen the kids in sooo long. It’s been less than a month, but the reason they haven’t seen the kids is because they went away, not because I’m withholding them or something :roll: he tells them we’re not going into the city this weekend, same thing as my parents, but if they really want then they can stop in on Sunday for a little visit. Today MIL calls and tells rooster “tell DG not to do a full turkey or anything big with the dinner, it’s just us coming!”

    Several things in that sentence - 1: why would anyone else be coming?? You were barely invited as it is, no one else was part of that. 2: you’re coming for dinner? 3: I’m making you dinner? 4: you’re under the impression it’s a full thanksgiving dinner?????
  19. scotchbutter

    scotchbutter Chicken

    @Dorothygale OMJG wtf!! The assumption that you are cooking them a full thanksgiving makes no sense when the invite was a last minute “stop by short visit with the kids”. That is so annoying.
  20. Dorothygale

    Dorothygale Chicken

    I’m gonna serve up some slices of deli turkey and a scoop of canned cranberry sauce
  21. Canaligator

    Canaligator Barbie Police

    Omggg DG I would lose my damn mind. I hope rooster is on your side in this.

    it must be the full moon because my MIL is losing it too. She called W on his way home from work on Monday and harangued him for a while with “I hadn’t heard from you. I feel like you don’t like me. Is that it? Is it that you don’t like me?”

    Then Thursday (aka 3 days later) she frantically was calling and texting. She is flying up next Fri through Monday to do some paperwork with W’s dad. I said WE ARE BUSY. (We are; I’m running a 5k on Sat and volunteering at the local marathon on Sunday.) What the actual fuck? I was like “Is there a reason she didn’t mention this three days ago when she talked to you?” He was like “I didn’t ask but now that you mention it, it is a good question.”

    Naturally she’s staying way south of Boston without a car but she hopes W can make time for her.
  22. Zoomzoom

    Zoomzoom Old Curmudgeon

    Oh hell no DG. I like your meal plan. I was going to say order KFC as your Thanksgiving meal for them if they still show up at dinnertime.
  23. Dorothygale

    Dorothygale Chicken

    We've decided dinner is actually the best option. It means we can invite them to come over not until late afternoon so then it'll basically be like an hour of visit, then dinner, and another hour until they go. Otherwise they would show up at like 11 and stay until dinner anyways. Right before they left, they showed up at NINE IN THE MORNING and had intentions of staying past dinner :bird: We were able to boot them around 3, but fuckkkkk.

    Rooster told me that I will absolutely not be the one cooking and he will either order something or make it himself.

    He's recently applied for some out of province work, and although that was super daunting to think about, it would really save me these kinds of visits....but then she'd probably start pulling stuff like @Canaligator 's MIL.
    Fitz, Kimmers, scotchbutter and 5 others like this.
  24. A. Ham

    A. Ham Chicken

    Oh hell no to ALL of these.

    Good on Rooster Gale for being the one to make dinner.
    Tumnus, nym711 and Canaligator like this.
  25. moose

    moose RINGWORM GIRL :(

    Texts from my MIL constantly asking for baby picture and if we can leave E with my mom to go out to dinner when his family is in town. N told her he would go but I’m not leaving my newborn and she does. not. get. it.