Family: The Gift You Can’t Return

Discussion in 'The Hens' Nest' started by Scout, Jul 11, 2014.

  1. ClamJam

    ClamJam Chicken

    Put them on DND, grey rock the hell out of the narcissistic trolling, and when you guys are willing to visit, let them know you're available that date and only then. Your insane MIL is going to try to wear you down with the constant grinding because she's learned it works.
     
    deet, Canaligator, moose and 4 others like this.
  2. Afishwish

    Afishwish Bramblebutt

    I try not to worry about my dad too much because it’s generally a pointless endeavor, but I’m actually worried about him.

    Today he texted rooster the same picture three times, each a couple hours apart, and a variation of the same joke caption twice. To be fair, he has always been a joke repeater, but just given his age it concerns me. He’s increasingly done stereotypical old people stuff, but this just didn’t feel right to me. He was always forgetful and it’s expected that it will happen more with age (he’s almost 70). All of that is true for inappropriate comments as well. I’ve also heard he drinks a lot. I just don’t know what the hell to do because he’s one of those people who will get defensive and dig his heels if you try to help him and give him ANY sort of advice.
     
  3. moose

    moose RINGWORM GIRL :(

    N got a photo from his mom today. A shit ton of toys and a message saying “for when E is at our house”. Sad that she’s put herself in a place where even that text has weird subtext to it.
     
  4. Zombie Llama

    Zombie Llama Ain't no corn bitch

    She's unhinged.
     
    moose likes this.
  5. deet

    deet Chicken

    @Afishwish my FIL does this quite a bit, and its because he's drinking (in secret).
     
  6. Afishwish

    Afishwish Bramblebutt

    Drinking would certainly explain it. Which sucks too because he is most likely the person Fry’s genetic liver disease came from, and he’s putting himself on the fast track to cirrhosis.
     
  7. fantasynerd

    fantasynerd Extra Extra

    My sister called me, (just) before 10AM on a Saturday, which I’ve explicitly told her doesn’t work for me. I’m awake and screwing around on my phone but don’t feel like talking to anyone right now. After I rejected the call (and then put on do not disturb), she texted me that me that my phone went straight to voicemail. No, really?
     
  8. moose

    moose RINGWORM GIRL :(

    I know I hog this thread so I’ll say this: Saturday AM barrage of texts indicating that we are selfish AF for not spending weekends there because that’s their time with E.
     
  9. Zombie Llama

    Zombie Llama Ain't no corn bitch

    Is her son ready to put her on a time out yet?
     
    Afishwish, nym711, Comet and 10 others like this.
  10. Canaligator

    Canaligator Barbie Police

    It’s not hogging when you have real problems. How did N respond to these texts? (Both what did he do and how did he seem).
     
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  11. moose

    moose RINGWORM GIRL :(

    his response back after the first text was to let them know we are spending family time together and will let them know if and when we are available. Rest of the messages went on DND. From FIL, not even MIL herself.
     
  12. moose

    moose RINGWORM GIRL :(

    he told me that now he’s going to figure out a way to let them know that they are secondary to his family, without being so harsh about it. He’s annoyed at this point. I asked him, ideally, what his visiting schedule would be and he said a little time either monthly or every other month. That’s completely reasonable, but every time they pull this shit I feel like pushing the visit back another week.
     
  13. Canaligator

    Canaligator Barbie Police

    That sounds totally reasonable - both the proposed schedule and walking it back further if they act out like this.
     
  14. moose

    moose RINGWORM GIRL :(

    It especially got me because they already knew I was going back to work (this is the end of my first week back), so what did they expect?
     
  15. shakespeer

    shakespeer Basic Pirate Lesbian Aesthete

    They expected you to fold. They expected to be able to run right over you and get exactly what they wanted.
     
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  16. Canaligator

    Canaligator Barbie Police

    Well to be fair, they expected *N* to fold. Very glad he didn’t.
     
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  17. moose

    moose RINGWORM GIRL :(

    we would’ve been in a very bad place if he folded. we had a lovely family day exploring shops and eating lunch and farmers market-ing. I would be livid if I wasted my Saturday there.
     
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  18. A. Ham

    A. Ham Chicken

    Their time with E is a privilege, not a right. Give @HBC their phone number.
     
    Afishwish, yesmaster, Tumnus and 11 others like this.
  19. moose

    moose RINGWORM GIRL :(

    it’s hard to explain that to people who feel entitled to everything
     
    A. Ham likes this.
  20. scotchbutter

    scotchbutter Chicken

    You can deny visits for whatever reason you want, but especially because you’re back at work the weekend is YOUR family time. They’re wrong and I know you know this but in case you need to hear it again: you are completely right here and they need to back off NOW.
     
  21. fantasynerd

    fantasynerd Extra Extra

    My grandpa (paternal, not the one who was an asshole to me last month) passed away today. He was 90 and he got pneumonia a couple weeks ago and didn’t really recover; apparently he told my parents that he wanted to die and be with my grandma. So it’s sad but he was ready. I’m happy I made sure to see him when I was there last month. I’m mostly sad for my dad’s sake.

    I really want to be there for my dad and want to fly up for the funeral, but I’m really anxious about interacting with my other (maternal) grandfather. When my (paternal) grandma died he hosted a get together at his house after the funeral, so if that’s the plan again that’s tricky. I don’t want to put any added stress on my dad but I just have to remind myself that I’m not the asshole here, and I can use pregnancy to get out of anything. So I can go to the funeral only and then totally bounce if I want. Maybe I’ll see if my dad would be interested in going out for a “drink,” just me and him.
     
  22. hellohelloagain

    hellohelloagain Chicken

    Yeah I'd go and do something alone with my dad, then leave after the funeral just to avoid conflict
     
  23. Comet

    Comet Chicken

    I'm guessing HBC would do a pretty good job explaining though.
     
  24. moose

    moose RINGWORM GIRL :(

    There were more texts today so I’m tempted to push the visit back a month.
     
  25. antisocialite

    antisocialite Chicken

    Wtf, they aren't entitled to any time at all.

    More texts? Cancelled until they can be not-assholes? Too bad if that time doesn't come.
     
    Afishwish, ClamJam, Zoomzoom and 4 others like this.

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