I am Surrounded by Idiots

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous Internet Insanity' started by Honey, Nov 4, 2016.

  1. Honey

    Honey Historian Staff Member

    Here's a place to post the stupid shit your neighbors say in community bulletin boards, Nextdoor, local Facebook groups, etc. For privacy reasons, don't feel like you have to provide links.

    Here's one from a lady named Sunny on my Nextdoor, titled "AGGRESSIVE KID ON MOUNTAIN BIKE":

    Julie sucks at reading comprehension:

    Libby suggests vigilante justice:

    JB thinks all kids on bikes are the same person:

    Jeremy calls for perspective:

    Cue the "experts":

    Rob and Nancy echo Libby's suggestion of tripping the kid with various implements (ski poles are favored). For this, they are scolded:

     
    Snack Queen, Afishwish and nym711 like this.
  2. android

    android Founding Messiah

    Love this! I'm always seeing dumb shit on NextDoor.
     
  3. Doom&Sparkles

    Doom&Sparkles Chicken

    Does this just have to be online community bullshit? Or actual, voiced in person, community/HOA/neighborhood bullshit?
     
  4. Honey

    Honey Historian Staff Member

    I suppose it could be the latter too, but I think the stuff they commit to writing is always better. Anyone can run at the moth for a second, but if you type, proofread, and still decide to post your garbage, that's extra speshul.
     
  5. Vespidae

    Vespidae Antagonist Staff Member

    I wish this thread had been around when my previous MP was sending me infuriating flyers every month about whatever fucking tough-on-crime bullshit like - no joke - why are the baked potatoes in prison so large because apparently criminals don't deserve large potatoes. I spent approximately 3 hours raging and spewing criminology statistics every time that asshole left one of those things in my mailbox. And then I voted for the other guy at the next election.
     
    Fitz and Honey like this.
  6. A. Ham

    A. Ham Chicken

    I just joined nextdoor to see if the people in my town are saying anything interesting. It's not at good as the town facebook page, though.
     
  7. Honey

    Honey Historian Staff Member

    Mr. "early indicator of adult sociopathic tendency" and "you would certainly be pursued for liability" is asked what, exactly, he would recommend doing in this situation.

     
  8. Fitz

    Fitz Leslie Knope Monster

    I follow a FB neighborhood group for my old neighborhood because it is hilarious. Lots of "newcomer" vs. "oldtimer" language innuendo. Lots of parking complaints, because parking there is a nightmare.

    Yesterday, someone posted a screenshot of a 311 complaint of a car that was supposedly illegally parked, wondering why the city didn't ticket it (um, maybe it is because it was Sunday?) Of course everyone pounces on this 311 reporter, saying what a terrible person he/she is and why doesn't he/she do something better with his/her time?

    Uh... THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU ALL DO. I have seen so many "Look at this car parked illegally/like an asshole" posts on there before. But because this one is criticizing the city and meter readers, it is bad? The hypocrisy, man.
     
    Afishwish and Canaligator like this.
  9. Afishwish

    Afishwish Bramblebutt

    I can't find it but before Halloween there were some very strong opinions about handing out organic Halloween candy and how dare we give children candy with poisons like high fructose corn syrup. If they'd tried to draw a little awareness to things like nut allergies, that would have been one thing, but no, it was all about the "chemicals".
     
    Last edited: Nov 7, 2016
  10. yesmaster

    yesmaster North of the Boarder

    My coworker just said she wants a boy so she can put him in hockey. I pointed out that girls can play hockey too and then she said she would never put her daughter in hockey because she doesn't want her to turn into a lesbian
     
    bluevalentine and Snack Queen like this.
  11. CoolWife

    CoolWife Chicken

    Lol. I have a coworker with two daughters and a son in hockey (he played semi-pro). One of his daughters is a lesbian, she's a college hockey coach now.
     
  12. A. Ham

    A. Ham Chicken

    "metals at the Olympics"
     
    April Ludgate, Kimmers and Erie like this.
  13. Vespidae

    Vespidae Antagonist Staff Member

    I mean, it's not technically wrong...
     
    Afishwish likes this.
  14. Honey

    Honey Historian Staff Member

    Hilarious. Gene has the right idea. First kid to go door to door gets the sale.
     
  15. Honey

    Honey Historian Staff Member

    THE SAGA CONTINUES

    I read this to D and he said, "She probably was walking on the mountain bike trail, and that's hella dangerous." I would like her to revisit her Go Pro footage and tell us exactly what this kid's harassing threats were.

    And now we get to the real heart of the matter!

     
  16. Roo

    Roo Chicken

    I'm with D, it definitely sounds like she was walking on the mountain bike trail. It sounds like the kid was equally frustrated that he almost ran into her previously to turn around and tell her she's not supposed to walk there.
     
  17. Honey

    Honey Historian Staff Member

    Also this whole thing could be made up to drop a plug for her books.
     
    A. Ham, bluevalentine, Fitz and 3 others like this.
  18. virgo

    virgo Chicken

    That lady has way too much time on her hands.
     
    curlysarah likes this.
  19. BigFatGoalie

    BigFatGoalie Chicken

    Totally sounds like a lame plug.
     
  20. nettysgirl

    nettysgirl Ultrawhore

    How does she know "it" wasn't posted if she doesn't know what "it" is?
    How does a mountain biker spend their "entire return south" turned 180 degrees backwards staring at someone?
    I think she just revealed her deepest sexual fantasy: "I was between him and scads of Frisbee players"
     
  21. Tumnus

    Tumnus Chicken

    2 ladies back home are arguing. One is paid passive aggressive statuses, then liking and sharing them herself. This lady appears to be in her 60s at least.

     
  22. Avocado

    Avocado Still Awkward

    I want to know what happened with Tina and Chad tbh. Sounds juicy to me
     
  23. Tumnus

    Tumnus Chicken

    Previous post was from G. This is the lady she's harassing.

    Small town drama at it's finest.
     
  24. Afishwish

    Afishwish Bramblebutt

    I have a thing with people keeping their cats outside, but what the hell, dude? Apparently the city DOES have an ordinance against your animals being on someone else's property, so what he's doing doesn't seem to be breaking any rules.

    That being said, you'd think if you know your neighbor's trapping animals you'd quit letting your cat out.
     
    Pickles likes this.
  25. LurkerHambot

    LurkerHambot Chicken

    I don't know why, but I pictured two 70-something retired women in the locker room of the senior center after Silver Waterobics, angrily typing that cray-cray into facebook while staring absolute daggers at each other.

    I laughed so hard I woke up my cats.
     
    Tumnus likes this.