Venting

Discussion in 'Free Range' started by kthom, May 7, 2015.

  1. kthom

    kthom Cute Food <3 Staff Member

    Do we not have a thread for venting? I don't want to clog up chit chat with my sob story.

    Anyway, just feeling really down. My mom said my father has been falling a lot lately (for those unfamiliar he has multiple sclerosis). She came home the other week he has a gash in his face, bleeding for who knows how long. She Tells him he needs to go to the ER and he fights her on it saying "no if we go there it'll take 3 hours". Well yeah maybe but you need your face stitched up! They did go to the ER eventually he's just stubborn.

    Anyway I guess he's had a few other minor falls so she says she's gonna retire and maybe get like a full time housekeeper or something so he won't fall trying to do simple chores. She tells him not to do chores but he gets bored/wants to be useful, etc. see aforementioned stubbornness. Anyway she said she doesn't think he can be home alone because she's too worried he will fall and not be able to get up.

    Oh also, she's not sure if they can visit in July or not depending how weak he is (we live in Knoxville, they are in Houston so airport and all that). Besides even if they do visit we live on the 3rd floor (no elevator) so now I'm just upset about that.

    We are trying to at least move back to the same state (husband just needs a job in that area) and now I'm feeling that can't come soon enough! [emoji53]
     
  2. Kthom, that's not a sob story. I'm sorry that you're having a hard time. Living away from family is rough and it's worse when a loved one is ill and you can't do anything to help where you're at. It's a horrible feeling. I hope it all gets better.
     
  3. Honey

    Honey Historian Staff Member

    <3 K. You know I get the sick dad stuff and the homesick daughter stuff. I'm here if you want to talk.
     
  4. android

    android Founding Messiah Staff Member

    That's so tough, K. Is it feasible for you guys to visit them instead this summer?
     
  5. nym711

    nym711 THIS IS MY LIFE NOW

    I'm sorry your family is going through that!
     
  6. Badger87

    Badger87 Chicken

    I'm sorry, it's tough when your family is far away and stuff like this is happening. I hope you guys can get something worked out so you can visit this summer instead or get closer to their area. Sending good thoughts your way!
     
  7. CoolWife

    CoolWife Chicken

    That's rough KT. Would he consider a service dog? There is a woman around here who used to come to our puppy classes just to encourage us once in a while. She has MS and Colonel does so much for her. He can pick stuff up, brace her when she walks, and help her up if she falls. There is another woman with MS who is still pretty active, and she hosts breeding females, giving back for what she'll probably need in the future.
     
  8. kthom

    kthom Cute Food <3 Staff Member

    Thanks all. I think the worst part is knowing it's not really going to get much better for him. He was doing a lot better last year because his doctor was able to get him some kind of specialty drug that's like $32000 (seriously, USA sucks). The doc argued to get his insurance to cover it, like worked a miracle there. It was a 3 dose shot and he was doing really good after that for like 6 months. But now his doctor retired and his new one is not working that kind of magic for him :p

    We are going home for Christmas but now I'm wondering if we should go home in the summer. Just soo expensive so trying to decide what's best. Ideally by this time next year we'll be in the same state so it wont' be a big deal to visit.

    hmm maybe. I hadn't thought of a service dog for MS, but I could see how that would help. My sister's dog is at their house, but that dog is not service dog material, lol.

    Thanks, I'm medicating myself with a cookie and watching weirdos on TLC. "I STILL didn't know I was pregnant" is on and that always makes one feel better about themselves.
     
  9. whatchyagonnado

    whatchyagonnado Chicken

    Kthom that sucks. I hope you guys can relocate to be near to them soon. I think a service animal is a really great idea. Is it possible to maybe do one trip for a longer time for sometime in the middle like in the fall? If you can move a year from now maybe that'll be better than going just at Christmas?
     
  10. BigFatGoalie

    BigFatGoalie Chicken

    That's rough. I'm sorry. I agree a service dog might be a great option. It can also help him fill his time a bit. Is there a hobby he could get into that doesn't require him to move about much?
     
  11. 24caratsequin

    24caratsequin Chicken

    I'm sorry, kthom.
     
  12. sweatermuffins

    sweatermuffins Chicken

    What a rotten time, kthom. I can totally relate to being far from family, and I can attest that even without health issues, it's a crap fest sometimes. I am so sorry you have to deal with this from afar, and I hope P can find a job in TX soon.
     
  13. Fitz

    Fitz Leslie Knope Monster

    K, I'm so sorry. I think I remember you saying your dad has MS; my MIL does as well (she is retired). They have a non-service dog who keeps her occupied, and I know she goes to yoga classes fairly frequently - not sure if that would help your dad, or if he would even try it. I think the service dog is an excellent idea. Could he set up a meeting with him, the old doc, and the new doc, to discuss his treatment plans?

    Hopefully P finds a great job in your home state and you can be closer.
     
  14. Snack Queen

    Snack Queen Guest

    Thats tough, Kthom. I'm sorry you're having to deal with this from far away. I'm sure that can make you feel helpless. Hopefully you can get moved there quickly.
     
  15. pinacolada

    pinacolada Chicken

    Vent away, Kthom. That's a tough situation. Fingers crossed that you're able to move in the near future.
     
  16. TaterTot

    TaterTot Rulebitch Staff Member

    I'm sorry, K. It sounds like a shitty, hard situation. I hope that you're able to see your fam/relocate soon. Thinking of you. (And missing you around here!)
     
  17. Canaligator

    Canaligator Barbie Police

    KT, sending good thoughts. Vent away.
     
  18. bluevalentine

    bluevalentine Statler or Waldorf

    Big hugs, kthom. I'm sorry you're feeling so down, but it's completely warranted. Wishing P the best of luck in finding a job in TX. <3
     
  19. Roo

    Roo Chicken

    I'm sorry you're feeling so down, kthom. Hopefully the job search goes well and you're able to be near your family again soon!
     
  20. kthom

    kthom Cute Food <3 Staff Member

    Aww...I'm still around and reading (at least non WB threads) just not always posting. :)

    Thanks though! He updated his resume and applied to something last week, and he'll be making the search a high priority after vacation. So fingers crossed it will be easy.
     
  21. virgo

    virgo Chicken

    kthom, I’m sorry you’re going through a tough time. Hopefully you guys can move back to TX very soon! <3
     
  22. Vespidae

    Vespidae Antagonist Staff Member

    I'm sorry to hear about that, K. I can imagine it must be really frustrating to be worried about someone who's so far away. Especially when you're not totally happy being where you are in the first place. I hope you can get back there soon. <3
     
  23. Erie

    Erie Florida AF

    I'm sorry about all this that you guys are going through. Lots of positive thoughts for you both and for the job hunt!
     
  24. NerdLady

    NerdLady Chicken

    Sorry to hear kthom, but hopefully everything will fall into place for you guys.

    I have a vent of my own. Most chickens know that my relationship with my grandparents has always been a bit strained. There's a super long story to go along with it, but it will suffice to say that they are pretty shitty people and I don't interact with them much anymore. There was a huge argument last year, the last time I saw them, and since then, I have only spoken to them twice and haven't seen them at all. Apparently my grandmother called my mom last month and was very emotional about it being the first year they haven't' spent with us for our birthdays (mine, my brother's, and my grandmother's birthdays are all in April) and somehow, there was an agreement made about everyone getting together for Mother's Day and seeing how things went. I'm sort of stuck being there if I want to see my mom at all, so I originally decided to go and be civil for my mom's sake. Now, that's all done with. My grandfather called me last week and left a voicemail saying he needed to talk with me about something important. I decide to call. The "really important" thing we needed to discuss was him telling me about how all of the money they intended to leave me when they died was gone, that they'd used it to help my brother out with various things, since he's the one actually doing something they deem worthwhile.I know they gave him several thousand dollars because he's going to Washington D.C. to do a summer internship with some state representative, which is something they "approve of". He told me that they would have been willing to do the same for me if I'd ever done anything worthwhile.

    So, it was basically just a "fuck you, we're just calling to let you know that we're giving your brother loads of money, even the money that was originally going to you in our will, because you're a lazy person with no ambition that's never going to do anything that we can brag about to other people". It was a little reminder that they can be proud of my brother and they can brag about all the things their grandson has done. (That's how they are. Everything has to be about them in some way. They love the attention they get talking about the stuff my brother does because people will fawn over them.)

    Needless to say, I have no intention of being there Sunday. I still want to see my mom, so I'm heading down tomorrow to visit with her, but I am perfectly fine if I never see my grandparents again. There's been so many years of their bullshit, and it took me a long time to get to a point where I didn't let them and their feelings dictate how I handled them. Being old doesn't excuse you for being an asshole.

    I just wish things weren't the way they are. I wish family gatherings weren't ridiculous and that I didn't have to plan around them so I could avoid them (because my mom and brother still have things to do with them, and even if they didn't, they are the type of people who would show up anyway, even if they hadn't been invited, and they do).

    I was so looking forward to a nice, calm, get together with my mom on Sunday too.
     
  25. 24caratsequin

    24caratsequin Chicken

    Fuck, NL, that's rough. I'm sorry. They really are arseholes.
     

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